Not the OSR's Middle Ages...

OK, maybe this isn't relevant to some (most) of you.  But we hit the forums sometimes, and we occasionally run into those who mischaracterize old-school gamers (us) as grumpy relics resistant to new ideas.  But it's just not true.  And it never was.  Consider... 

Some have (wrongly) accused the OSR as being manned by dinosaurs resistant to greater inclusiveness and hiding behind the presumed medieval mindset as justification for this tendency.  Thus, for instance, women are barred from the city guard and other positions of authority in deference to medieval orthodoxy because, after all, this is authentic and reflects the period as it actually was.  But this defense fails on the face of it...

Old-school gaming has always been progressive and wide open to all manner of ideas, setting it far from any supposed Land of the Dinosaurs.  Any and everything was on the metaphorical table.  Everything.  And if you are one of those dinosaurs who cites medieval realism as justification for anything, consider this:  The OSR is just barely medieval! 

So first, calm down.  If you've carefully tailored your favorite ruleset to arrive at something historically accurate (or just close enough), that's one thing.  You've deviated, and at great length, from the rules as written.  But taken at face value and using everything thrown at you in the way of magic and monsters, the OSR is something else...   

Obviously, the presence of actual, working magic in any capacity would have a tremendous impact on whatever culture we're talking about.  Now imagine this magic conspicuously on display almost daily in the larger towns and great cities.  What does it say about the nature of the material universe and the forces that bind it when such power can exist?  And what would it mean to have such an equalizing force in a world where physical strength should otherwise be the accepted standard of worldly might?  It pretty much changes everything.

It's how we get from this...

The fact that this is accepted and not under constant persecution, by itself, precludes the sort of historical model we think our old-school games are based upon!

Face it.  The western medieval world was a Christian world.  And any power not originating squarely from the Trinity was evil.  There were only two sources of power, and if God wasn't pulling the strings, then Satan was at the wheel!  But then, the OSR treats magic as a neutral force to be channeled and used, which puts it at odds with how these things were viewed in the medieval mind.  No, magic as natural science simply doesn't apply here...

Religiously speaking, clerics of Poseidon didn't wander the streets of Prague, so if this is anyone's idea of old-school campaigning, forget it!  And even if we imagine an original setting that just happens to look a lot like the real medieval period, the absence of a monolithic religious entity demolishes one of the cornerstones right off the bat.

Oh, and the fact that OSR deities (1) actually exist and (2) exert actual, tangible power beyond the subjective attribution of natural phenomenon matters.  Man has a habit of fighting over who's god has the bigger package (ahem), and this cosmic measuring contest has resulted in plenty of earthly misery.  But what does it mean when the gods can prove they exist and, indeed, there are several "one true gods" operating in the universe?

Wait?  What's that sound?  It's yet another pillar of "authentic medievalism" toppling!

Finally, the presence of intelligent non-human races changes a lot.  Dwarves and elves are physically and psychologically different (and psychology owes much to physiology), which really puts them beyond anything merely ethnic.  And the fact that elves naturally wield the magic at work in this universe sets them even further apart.  These aren't the Moors, with a different culture and religion, but what amounts to intelligent alien life! 

To something more like this...

And the fact that any of these things exist at all precludes a medieval view of the world beyond the superficially technological.  Yes, it's the Iron Age, and feudal systems will almost certainly predominate.  But the difference wrought by actual magic is considerable...

Magic might be rare and in the hands of a few.  But those who have it will use it, and unlike the real world, where magical accounts are purely imaginary, authentic sorcery would have a profound effect on the outcome of battles and the spread of plagues, etc.  Just imagine if King Harold had access to (actual) magicians during the Battle of Hastings in 1066!

Furthermore, the gods would war among themselves for supremacy and fight proxy wars among their followers, granting them supernatural powers as an enticement and to make them useful against their enemies.  At any rate, it only takes one angry god (or goddess, as the case may be) to reduce a willful city to a smoking crater.  These things are hard to miss or write off as mere coincidence, and they're (mostly) without precedent in real history...

Finally, different intelligent races would almost certainly view one another (and their unique religious and cultural traditions) with some suspicion, even as they traded with one another for desired luxuries.  And the psychological differences wrought through biology would have resulted in a uniquely different cultural and scientific legacy.  Very different.

Any of these things alone, and certainly in combination, would have necessarily resulted in a vastly different historical situation.  And all are hallmarks of old-school gameplay.

Which is to say, it's fantasy, folks.  You can do what you want, and the only ones you need to please are the people in your own group.  You'll get all the reality you can stomach in your daily life, so feel free to eschew realism in a game where you can be a pointy eared elf who shoots magical lightning bolts out of their fingertips!  But if you're playing a historical version of D&D (or its many imitators), congratulations!  This represents considerable effort on your part and belongs to you.  The hobby most of us remember is a thing of pure whimsy...  

Hathluu (a Pale House for Opherian Scrolls)...

This week, we're serving up a NEW PALE HOUSE for BoP: Opherian Scrolls for use in your own campaigns:

HATHLUU is a lesser-known house, being concerned with torture and interrogations, but also ritual sacrifice, which figures prominently even in Youngling culture.  As such, they serve Uku Utargarath, a demon lord especially fond of graven images and depicted in numerous altars and the elaborate temple in Yaminse.  His servants perform UKU'S OFFERING, allowing them to sacrifice once per day.

UKU'S OFFERING allows the user to convert a single slain enemy, although never any undead, into a BOON; usually, a bit of fantastic good luck within the same game day.  The power of this is always proportional to the strength of the sacrifice made.  

Note that for game purposes, a bound/helpless captive can be slain instantly, and that an agent of Uku will usually appear...

Cruel Uku is disdainful
and delights in human suffering...

UKU (Goru/Goruku/Urukurum) is a huge (12' tall) demon clad in the skins of former enemies, all inscribed in runes detailing their confessions gained through torture.  In combat, he attacks with his single horn for 1d6+1 damage or his whips, a successful hit from which extracts a single confession from its victim and incapacitates them for 1d6+4 rounds from the horrific pain inflicted.

Those entering into formal pacts with Uku may receive a grisly artifact in the form of one of his UKUAN SKINS which, whenever worn, bestows one random benefit (roll 1d6: 1-2 combat, 3-4 magic, 5-6 stealth) as suits the confession of its prior owner.

The city states formerly dedicated to Uku's house have long-since fallen to the Younglings, although lingering cults still occupy ancient ruins and still-active temples in Opherian cities now under human control.  Although reviled, the talents of his elder House, including specialized torture techniques, are in high demand among the Youngling kingdoms, who have no shortage of prisoners!

Note that because this is an especially dark house, judges might limit it to non-player characters.  But if the campaign seems suitable, players can be allowed membership, noting that Uku's house is prone to madness or similar infirmities given its evil work...

The Paladin's Problem (Law and Chaos)...

Alignment is a thorny issue for some, who prefer to avoid it as unnecessary baggage, while others take it on its own terms in those systems that use it (and we're talking to you, D&D).  But when alignment is fully embraced, there's still some debate about the nature of Law vs. Lawful Good (or Evil), etc.  

After all, doesn't it seem strange that Law should (or could ever possibly) stand in for Good?  Chaos, sure.  The very name is synonymous with evil and unwholesome (or at least suspicious) stuff to be feared and avoided.  But some question Law as GOOD...

After all, not every law is good or remotely just!

Enter the Paladin's Problem.  This guy is supposed to uphold both the law AND the good.  But what if something as clearly evil as slavery is legal and enshrined by the same institutions the paladin has sworn themselves to serve and protect?  What happens when law collides with the good?  It's a tough question, and one whose answer points to how a traditional system of Law/Chaos might actually be superior compared to (later) D&D's axis...    

Now, many scoff at the idea of Law and Chaos as sufficient to represent the full range of choices or to serve as anything remotely close to enough.  But there's something to it:     

So first off, some basics.  Most everyone (or a large enough percentage to effectively count as such) is concerned with their own life and well-being.  They seek out food, clothing, shelter, and meaningful things and/or activities - and no one thinks them selfish for doing so!  Because we've all gotta eat, right?

     
This is the default setting for most.  But what does it take to consider the life and well-being of OTHERS?  I mean, when a starving person steals a loaf of bread from a wealthy shop owner, only the most hard-hearted see them as anything but desperate and wanting to survive.  But take an old lady's Social Security check to finance your heroin habit, and you're a monster, am I right?

Because one is a wealthy person who can afford to part with that single bit of bread to feed someone who might DIE without it and has no other way of getting it, and the other is a helpless widow with little more but a pittance to live on, meaning she suffers more from the loss, and all for a totally SELFISH habit!

Whose life and well-being is being served?  And at what cost to the life and well-being of another?  It's a matter of proportion.

But what really divides the GOOD from the EVIL is the ability to consider the well-being of OTHERS as co-equal to our own, and limiting our actions accordingly.  Rape and murder are off the table once we decide that others have a right NOT to suffer so we can satisfy our own desires.  This is the LAW we impose upon ourselves that limits us in DEFERENCE TO OTHERS.  Thus, Law is GOOD...

And what is a personal CODE, after all, if not a self-imposed LAW that demands respect for the life of others?

Evil stops at the self.  Sure, play nice when it's convenient, or whenever there's something to be gained.  But draw the line if inconvenient or when profitable to do otherwise.  It's a failure to move beyond the default setting.  And this should worry all of us, because the whole of evil is INSIDE ALL OF US, tempered only by our capacity to extend our consideration to those around us.

Thus, we have Law (Good) following the Golden Rule (or Law) and behaving predictably in deference to others, and Chaos (Evil) acting selfishly and unpredictably because you can't count on them NOT thrusting a dagger in your back when they stand to gain from doing so, making it the best description for sure!

Now, back to the Paladin's Problem.  They can freely invoke their internal CODE (Law) in support of Good and oppose an obviously evil practice, like slavery, and the temporal laws that allow it.

Note here that a distinction is made between Law as an abstract philosophy and (lower-case) laws created by governments to stabilize society.  Failure to recognize this leads to the Paladin's Problem in situations of conflict.  But our system doesn't.

Furthermore, a simple axis of Law/Neutrality/Chaos provides an objective basis for clerics and magic items tied to, and requiring, specific behaviors while simultaneously remaining open enough to pacify the nay-sayers.  Whether or not you agree with our position is one thing, but it DOES form the basis for our Pits & Perils system, and not just because it's simplified!  And the "good" men do becomes a self-imposed "law" that respects the lives of others...

Eunuchs in the Fantasy Court...

Ah, eunuchs.  They've lost all their sexy bits and can safely be left to administer affairs of state and, especially, guard the harem without fear of insurrection and the sort of dalliances that can sometimes muddy the waters of inheritance.  Who better to trust with the many comely ladies left alone for so long...

Except history is a lot stranger than that, and fantasy has always been a good place to throw a wrench in!

So to the first point.  It was thought (or perhaps hoped) that castration performed early enough would prevent the usual hormonal eruptions, meaning less aggression and inclination to carve out dynasties or usurp the throne.  This made them trusted in the courts of Asia and Persia and, indeed, some came to wield great power in their capacity as advisors and regents to the emperors.

But first, let me be clear about this topic.  Involuntary genital mutilation is a terrible thing that happens all too often in certain parts of the world and should be opposed as the human-rights issue it is.  But the ancient world wasn't fair, and gaming offers up many opportunities to explore these important issues.  

In short, these fellows had the ear of the ruler and were undoubtedly privy to important information.  This had implications for the real world, but also in fantasy, where such intrigue may contribute to the drama.  Indeed, the sympathetic eunuch Varys from HBO's Game of Thrones (which this blogger sometimes despairs is a calculated and cynical cavalcade of blood and tits meant to generate attention via Twitter traffic) underscores the possibilities.

Varys brings some sympathetic
behind-the-scenes drama to life at court... 

But however much I may disdain GoT (it's really not so bad), I nonetheless can't argue with the drama (and intrigue) this castrated fellow brings to the story.  And maybe to your campaigns as well, because this is the stuff of high adventure once you start leaving the dungeon and interacting with a world's politics...

So what about the sex?  It's hard to avoid or ignore it when the apparatus of sexuality and procreation is literally snipped off, and early enough to (hopefully) prevent such instincts from arising in the first place.  And the image of the bald, scimitar wielding guard is ubiquitous in the media, especially fantasy!

It's important to understand that there were two ways to make a eunuch in the ancient world (we're leaving out chemical castration, although anything can happen in fantasy).  Full castration meant everything went.  These people obviously weren't capable of sexual relations, removing the obvious conflict of interest here...

But others were partial, meaning the member was left intact and ready for action.  They COULD perform, although without the baggage, they couldn't produce viable sperm.  This meant no offspring to expose a courtly affair.  But it also means that royal affairs are at least possible, and this can shake things up and lead to any number of interesting and rewarding adventure hooks.

The royal court is rife with intrigue,
and it's often the overlooked who see the most...

But to cite a properly historical example, the Roman poet Martial speaks out against a woman who has sex with partially castrated eunuchs, although it's unclear how pervasive this practice was or if anything similar happened elsewhere.  To quote: 

"Do you ask, Panychus, why your Caelia only consorts with eunuchs? Caelia wants the flowers of marriage – not the fruits."

Apparently, the Roman Castrato (boys castrated early to preserve their angelic voices for the church choir) could still perform sexually into adulthood.  And while most harem eunuchs were likely fully castrated, this isn't necessarily the case, and in a world complete with dragons, elves, and actual, working magic, this stuff is hardly beyond the pale and can legitimately be inserted.

The Eunuch brings a lot to the fantasy table.  They held a lower social status, but paradoxically, had the ear of the ruler as they bathed and dressed them.  They were thought to be safe guardians, free of those pesky sexual urges, but were, in some cases, able and willing - and with a banquet of potential paramours!

And ultimately, eunuchs are human.  We aren't our genitalia alone, despite what we've been told, and eunuchs are more than their condition.  These people have hopes, dreams, and desires (if not outright ambitions) of their own, although their circumstances will weigh heavily and might even give them cover.

Recently, a fan of our Blood of Pangea blogged about a sample character who happened to be a eunuch.  We really liked this idea because the whole point of Pangea is to break away from rigidly technical character builds into something more varied and narrative, and I'm pretty sure there aren't many PC eunuchs around...

Eunuchs are routinely portrayed as plump, balding harem guards complete with scimitars or acting as functionaries in some far-flung land.  These are often silent props, and this dehumanizes them unfairly and misses out on many opportunities to craft compelling stories (or adventures).  Imagine a rebellion that hinges on a harem guard and a sympathetic bride, who might also be his lover, and requires the help of the players?  Suddenly these guys matter much!