Perspective (What Really Matters)...

I remember my first day posting on RPG.net.  The original poster requested OPINIONS on something (I believe it had to do with in-game decision-making) and I found myself VICIOUSLY ATTACKED by a total stranger that lasted through several angry exchanges.  We ended up agreeing to avoid one another's threads (like the plague) because it clearly wasn't going anywhere good.  Not the best intro...

A year later, I'm enjoying MY FIRST DAY on Google+, when someone decided to attack our post about a P&P character sheet.  This quickly devolved into an angry exchange, and I accept more than a little responsibility because I took the bait.

Welcome to the internet, right?  I mean, I totally get that and understand what the anonymity of the web can do to people when they think they can hide behind their avatars.  And I TOOK THE BAIT.

But I ended up feeling bad for both of them, especially on the receiving end of my own anger.  I was a military officer for a good decade of my life and can rip ass with the best of them (and won't hesitate to do so, which ISN'T to my credit here).

I'd like to think I'm doing better.  But what really bothers me is what set these people off in the FIRST PLACE...

I had a DIFFERENT OPINION ABOUT GAMES.  That's right.  My personal opinions about GAMES were seen as a terrible personal flaw and an affront to all right-minded people, which suggests a disturbing lack of perspective about what's really important in this life.

Now obviously, I LOVE gaming and game design.  But if I were told that I had to give it up to save Robyn's life, I'd do so in a heartbeat and feel happy for the privilege, because while gaming is fun, people are ALWAYS more important, which is to say:

GAMING PREFERENCES AREN'T IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO ATTACK ANYONE OVER!

Heated, enthusiastic debate?  Sure.  I'll happily offer my own preferences for simple, open-ended game systems.  But I'll never say that people are STUPID or DEFICIENT for thinking otherwise...

I'll debate IDEAS while not attacking PEOPLE, and not just because mere civility demands it.  No, not liking your favorite system doesn't make me (or anyone else) the equivalent of Hitler marching into Poland and doesn't merit ANY KIND of hateful rebuke.    

Gaming is great, but it doesn't define my own character or the character of anyone I care about or respect.  It's creamy icing on the cake, obviously, but that's all.  And when people can attack each other over what amounts to subjective personal preference, they can attack for just about ANYTHING, which is scary... 

For a full year (between 2014-15), Robyn cared for her dying mother and helped her through her final days.  Full-time nursing care is very expensive, and putting her in a home would have been out of the question even if we could have managed it.  So Robyn bravely fought grief and lack of sleep learning (and providing) this care around the clock for an indigent parent who was utterly dependent on others for EVERYTHING.  I'm PHYSICALLY DISABLED and of LIMITED help.

Robyn is a cancer survivor.  I almost lost her.  People everywhere have SIMILAR stories, and they're ALL more important than whether or not we prefer class or skill-based systems.  And given what all of us struggle with at all times, gaming is one hell of a stupid reason for attacking or denigrating others when we should recognize the basic humanity in one another and act on it always...

Luckily, the online community is OVERWHELMINGLY positive, and Robyn and I appreciate the friendship and awesome ideas for everything from food to role-playing.  And, sometimes, it's help for each other when life happens, because life DOES happen to everyone, and human contact (and civility) is our BEST weapon against the online trolls!